Sometimes pre-dawn I pretend
I’m hiding from the Nazis
I slo mo breathe in semi-darkness
inches from light sleeper
inches from light sleeper
Each inhalation rising smooth
drawn deep from belly
drawn deep from belly
ballooning lungs, up open throat,
a u-turn at the larynx
a u-turn at the larynx
Then straight out rounded lips
suspended in a gentle O
suspended in a gentle O
All of the above of course —
silent, slow, steady.
silent, slow, steady.
If we were in Krakow
a frosty puff would linger.
a frosty puff would linger.
Here, into a world of hurt,
this one bare breath alights.
this one bare breath alights.
I make myself a secret, a refugee
from sight. A figment of creation.
from sight. A figment of creation.
Arm waves softly through dark air.
No creak. No chafe. No bristle.
No creak. No chafe. No bristle.
No cough. No smacking of dry lips.
No errant bump or sniffle.
No errant bump or sniffle.
With focused grace the body knows
the margins of its bearing.
the margins of its bearing.
A patch of air is all that lies
between liberty and terror.
between liberty and terror.
Trampling boots kick hard against
the mind’s hard won freedom.
the mind’s hard won freedom.
Flesh winces at the thought
of quick, steel toed precision,
of quick, steel toed precision,
of the pounding at the door,
the stench of human danger.
the stench of human danger.
History guts presence
with shards of hate and fear.
with shards of hate and fear.
Renders mute our sorrow.
sends us to our caves
sends us to our caves
where in sacred silence
each breath softly quickens.
each breath softly quickens.
We make way through harrow
in dusky daring measure.
in dusky daring measure.
Mind’s eye searches escape routes
past the brink of dire.
past the brink of dire.
If we were in Krakow we’d pile
in the cellar, shush the baby sister,
in the cellar, shush the baby sister,
lock eyes with the neighbors.
cringe into harsh light.
cringe into harsh light.
Would I not go gentle
without hiss or fight?
without hiss or fight?
Would I link arms with others
and march into harm’s way?
and march into harm’s way?
Would I face tall gallows
with head held up high?
with head held up high?
Would I offer comfort
on the train to chambers?
on the train to chambers?
Not look away or wither
from the cruel of might?
from the cruel of might?
Moon and sun trade places.
I breathe in morning skies.
I breathe in morning skies.
I pray with extra fervor.
I note the warning signs.
I note the warning signs.
Practice silence in the air
Walk with care, stare down demise.
Walk with care, stare down demise.
Ease each out-breath into flow.
Let each find its way to brave
Let each find its way to brave
whole and holy into the fray.
Breath by breath by breath, unhide.
© Deborah Jang. All Rights Reserved.Breath by breath by breath, unhide.
Deborah Jang writes her way through the mysteries, perplexities, and joys of being human — on this planet, at this moment, in this skin. She is also a visual artist, engaging connection through forms and objects. She wanders between Denver, CO and Oceanside, CA; between mind and heart; between land and sea. She is the author of Float True.
deborahjang.com
