My Name is Not My Face

My name should be worn by a freckled faced girl
who eats tender beef rouladen and mustardy
potato salad. And blond pony tails tied with lace
should dangle next to her soft white ear lobes.
But instead my name masks a face worn by Asians.
People with black hair. People with honey-colored
skin tinged with cream. People with distinctly shaped
almost hidden eyes. People with non-German names.
My name identifies a person recognizable by
stoic imagery, a country, a bitter history, a family.
I feel sorry for those thinking they know
what to expect when they hear my name,
but then see my face. I want to soften the blow
of their double-take.
I want to explain. I want them to understand
that I am more confused  than they are.
© 2010 Betsy Schaffer. All rights reserved.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Betsy works with numbers, reads, writes, and ponders her life’s purpose. She was born in Seoul, Korea. Her poetry is published in More Voices: A Collection of Works from Asian Adoptees published by Yeong and Yeong Books.

Tomol Evening: California's Indigenous People

by Terra Trevor 
 
When I return from Limuw—Santa Cruz Island, at first I only want natural light. It is past ten when I rinse the salt water from my hair. Moonlight falls from the open window, a flood of light from above. 

I am still under the influence of sea tides springing strong. 


I came to spend four days and nights on the island, to let come what may. I want to be helpful to my friend, eighty now and a deeply loved and respected, elder. Sometimes she needs a tiny bit of help fetching things and getting from here to there. I’m learning as she teaches me how to be helpful and grow old in a beautify way. 


Used to be, when you walked on the island of Santa Cruz and looked around, all the land you could see was Chumash Indian land. The island was once home to the largest population of island Chumash with a highly developed complex society and life ways. 


Marine harvest and trade with the mainland. Island Chumash produced shells beads used as currency. Grasses and roots for making baskets and other necessities for living were there for the taking. And so, apparently was the land. 


Historical records show that by 1853 a large herd of sheep was brought to the island. The Civil War significantly increased the demand for wool and by 1864 some 24,000 sheep over grazed the hills and valleys of Santa Cruz Island. Some of the early buildings from sheep ranching still stand. Now, instead of sheep for the next four days the island is again filled with Indians. 

We have come to honor the Chumash peoples' annual channel crossing from the mainland to the Channel Islands. A camp village is put up, where basket making, cordage making, song, prayer and storytelling take place. On day one we are about fifty Indians gathered. By Saturday, the day the Tomol arrives, there will be nearly two hundred of us, and the quote “a single bracelet does not jangle alone” describes us. The connectedness we have to each other is so much a part of our lives, it can’t be distinguished from our lives. 


For the record, I am not Chumash. I’m of mixed-blood Cherokee, Lenape, Seneca, German descent. Yet for 40 years I lived in an area that made up the traditional Chumash homeland. I hold the culture, traditions and history of the Chumash people in my heart. For my Chumash friends this is their heritage, their landscape of time. 


There’s real power here. When we leave the campsite village and walk to the rim of the island first there is silence. Raven and Sea Gulls at the waters edge dip and wheel and dive. Under a sky turned pink we go for a sunset swim. With much island and ocean and so few people there is the lazy wag of space. I float in the sea with my head surrounded by gulls and fledglings. 


At dawn we wake to sunrise singers. A high sweet trill of voices, abalone beads swaying, carrying songs from the ancestors. The singers are letting us know it is time to gather for sunrise ceremony. 


Next we wait for the paddlers to arrive. I stand with others on the shore and feel the sun rise from my heart. I’ve known two of the paddlers, a male and a female crewmember, since they were babies, and I’ve watched them grow to strong, beautiful, kind and responsible, young adults. Now I’m a sixty three year old grandmother, moving toward elderhood and I know the world that I will one day leave behind is in good hands. 


If only in my mind I am again back in 1997, back when these two young paddlers where small kids and the Santa Barbara County American Indian Education Project began the series “Tomol Trek.” After much hard work, the project put together an academy with federal (Title V) funding and the year’s final outcome produced a modern-day recreation of a tomol. Our modern-day tomol was built by the children under the guidance of Peter Howorth, in his backyard tomol building workshop. 


There was a perfect balance between master and apprentice as the children sanded pieces of the vessel throughout construction. A dozen hands move slowly across the handle, moving towards the paddle end of an oar. Small hands, young hands, skin so smooth and maroon, peach-colored hands, muted brown, every child with a tribal memory circling her or his heart. 


Remembrance weighs heavy on my mind, as it does for most Native people seeking to affirm cultural identity in a high-tech world. There is a comfort in being with those who understand. Our kids did not have to trade in their Indian values for education; the project carried ancient memory and cultural knowledge into their lives today. 


And now two of those children—now grown, are making the crossing. The paddlers leave the mainland at three a.m. There will be a careful change of crew three times. The moment the paddlers in the Tomol come into view my heart breaks open and I’m ageless and timeless and feel the welcome arms of the ancestors. The Tomol is brought forth from the sea and there is song and prayer. 


Photo by Terra Trevor

Back at camp we prepare dinner, while island fox keep a steady eye trained on us. A near Harvest moon rises. We eat, talk, joke, and tell stories of past crossings to the island, and “the old ways” moving through our evening together like dancers, stirring to the same rhythm. All of the people, the paddlers and those that help make the crossing and camp village possible, are honored. 


The day fades into liquid dusk and moonlight. Time is a continuous loop until our stay on the island comes to a full circle closure. Thankful for what I have been given, yet reluctant to let go, I prepare to leave and make the rounds to say goodbye to everybody who welcomed me. 


On the boat ride to the mainland we are soaking wet, laughing. A Humpback whale is sighted in the ocean navy blue. In the Chumash language my friends sing in the whale, and she surfaces. 


At home in earthen shadows, rinsing off the salt water and sand, I feel the light from the moon, full and wan. I braid a pungent memory and fill my lungs and my heart with it, knowing it will permeate my body and cling to my soul as a reminder of what I can feel when we are all together on the Island. 


© Terra Trevor. All rights reserved. 


Tomol Evening was first published in the Winter 2015-16, Volume 29, Issue 2 of News from Native California a quarterly magazine published by Heyday Books.

This essay also appears in a slightly different form in Terra Trevor's memoir We Who Walk the Seven Ways and in Unpapered published by the University of Nebraska Press.

You might also want to read the backstory Tomol Trek first published in the Winter 1997 issue of News from Native California, reprinted at River, Blood, And Corn.

Terra Trevor is the author of We Who Walk the Seven Ways (University of Nebraska Press). She is a contributor to fifteen books in Native studies, Native literature, nonfiction and memoir. Her essays have appeared in numerous anthologies and literary journals including, Tending the Fire: Native Voices and Portraits (University of New Mexico Press), Children of the Dragonfly: Native American Voices on Child Custody and Education (The University of Arizona Press), The People Who Stayed: Southeastern Indian Writing After Removal (University of Oklahoma Press), (Johns Hopkins University Press), and in numerous other books. Of mixed descent, including Cherokee, Lenape, Seneca and German, her stories are steeped in themes of place and belonging, and are shaped and infused by her identity as a mixed-blood, and her connection to the landscape. She is the founding editor of River, Blood, And Cornterratrevor.com

The Role of the Poet in Contemporary Culture(s)

By Jody Aliesan. From the Raven Chronicles, Vol. 6, No. 1, “Power of Language" Fall, 1996

These days, especially in a city, our definition of culture/community is often something other than geographic: it’s a matter of affinity, experience, solidarity, common purpose and struggle. For example, I consider myself a member of:

—the women’s community, ever since the second wave of feminism in the late 60’s, early 70’s, when I had the first experience of my words being useful to others, the function of the “cultural worker”;
—what I will call, in order to be most inclusive, the queer community: gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans-gendered people;
—the “counter-culture” or “alternative” community, although I might not choose those labels;
—and other communities, such as those who have suffered rape, or clinical depression.

But my sense of the place of the poet in a culture has come most (consciously or unconsciously) from what’s leaked into me out of my Irish ancestory.

Gaelic bards were perceived as a particular obstacle by the colonizers, not just because they epitomized a cultural tradition which the occupiers hoped to destroy, but, more practically, because they were figures of political influence in their own right, second only to the chieftains, to whom they sat next to in council. —Declan Kiberd, “Irish Literature and Irish History,” The Oxford Illustrated History of Ireland.

The resident officials in Ireland gave considerable thought to the wiping-out of the two significant and overlapping elements in Irish society; the traveling craftsmen, messengers and entertainers, and the learned class of brehons [jurists] and poets…. This would have torn asunder significant parts of the structure of Irish society, more particularly by eliminating the jurists—the poets were more difficult to silence. —D.B. Quinn, The Elizabethans and the Irish.

In ancient Irish/Gaelic culture, the people, led by their chieftains, were married to the land. But there was an itinerant learned class who moved with safe conduct around the country, uniting the nation:

—the druids (a word I hesitate to use because of what’s been invented about them by New Age writers. If you read anything that claims to know what the druids believed or what rituals they used, it’s creative writing. Everything was oral, and it was all lost). They were priests, healers, and philosophers;
—the brehons, who were judges, legal counselors, and scholars of the law;
—the filii, the poets, who were the seers, historians, and keepers of the myths and sagas. They looked forward and backward and spoke of what they saw.

All this was orally produced and transmitted, and the filii studied 21 years before they were considered poets—they were walking libraries among the clans, and members of scholarly communities.

Most important to me is their twofold function: telling the truth, and speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. Giving them words. The poets were called to sit beside chieftains because they could be counted on to do this. And they were protected from the consequences.
After this ancient culture was finally crushed, the poets became dispossessed outcasts sheltered by the people; itinerant teachers and custodians of literacy during the Penal Years of the Seventeenth Century when the native Irish were forbidden education. They were hunted down, because they raised the spirit of the people and reminded them of their history, of who they were. Their power, of critique and satire, was feared.
 
So what does this mean for me, personally? What does it have to do with the present? During the reign of the English King Henry VIII, ancient Irish manuscripts on animal skin were cut into strips and used to stiffen the spines of English books. Now these books are being taken apart and the strips recovered. One of them includes a fragment that reads: “The poet is the wick in the lamp of the community. Not the oil, and not the flame; but the simple piece of cloth that unites the two so that the people can see their own light.”

I am a member of communities. I feel a responsibility to them. Being a poet is a job, a calling, a way of life (also a doom, a fate, and a curse). It’s a function among other human beings, an absurd assignment—but somebody has to do it.

So I contribute to my communities as a poet by doing things like organizing benefit readings for Hands Off Washington; or providing an invocation at Tilth’s 20th Anniversary conference; dedicating royalties (such as they are), or donating books and performances to auctions. Most of all I believe I contribute by living my life, writing about what moves me, from my community-influenced point of view, and telling the truth: pursuing it down through the mazes of my own self-delusion and denial.

But here’s the central paradox: I can do this best if I’m separate, detached, standing one step away, independent and spiritually itinerant. If I don’t belong to anyone, no one owns me. Then I can speak the truth, even if I’m not protected from the consequences.

It’s a matter of binocular vision: one eye is the personal “I”, the ego, the personality; the other is the mythic eye, that sees my life as representative of human experience. So, my community, my culture, is our common humanity. I aspire to speak for that.

from the Raven Chronicles, Vol. 6, No. 1, “Power of Language”, Fall, 1996
The Raven Chronicles. A Journal of art, literature and the spoken word
ravenchronicles.org

Jody Aliesan 1943—2012, poet, writer, and feminist



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